Love Life

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-10-12T12:36:00.001-07:00

What a wonderful holiday ^^...

Things that I am thankful for:

Bowinn and Andrew's amazing cooking abilities, and amazing dedication to feeding us
My girls from Burnaby
The EUS Executive
The Thunderbots Leaders
First Years
My Parents
Tea
Engineers
Grass and Trees
Vancouver
Lin
Naoki
Life

Lalalalala...I am so happy ^^... and you should all be too!

The world is a beautiful place :)

6. Sweaters that are too big for me

2009-04-11T11:56:00.000-07:00

Large fleece sweaters are like having your bed adheaded to your body all day long. I could put on my hood and just curl up anywhere for a long nap or tuck my legs into the sweater and warm myself up as a ball. I could be fat and nobody would notice!

Of course this really doesn't help with my necrolypsy.... which is currently self diagnosed... but each day I feel more inclined to go get a professional opinion...

wait! happy thoughts happy thoughts!

*bleen*

5. Euler

2009-03-26T23:29:00.000-07:00

Pronounced: Oiler

oiler Amanda ... OI - LER

Forever in my memory will be the chanting sounds of team Genius Bowel cheering "yu-ler, yu-ler, yu-ler."

I must conclude that university students (read: guys), are often not that much more mature than those in high school. Instead, the rest of the world, or at least me, has somehow gotten used to this behavior, normalized it and now am fully laughing along.

In fact, if anything, there may have been a digression in alleged maturity levels between high school and university. In high school, many seem to be trying their hardest to achieve a sense of independence and to assert one's image as a responsible adult. Now in university, that independence more or less achieved, the lack of need to try to seem mature may have reverted one back to the elementary mindset. Where you really don't care how you look or what you say as long as it's in the name of good fun.

Or, more likely, I'm over analyzing and really, its just the beer.

4. The EUS Executive (and all EUS volunteers at that!)

2009-02-04T00:52:00.000-08:00

It almost feels as if you are married in this odd polygamous relationship, and that you have 3600 unruly children and that you are still living with your many parents. Your parents are expecting you to grow up and be mature all the time so to be good role models for your children. Your children are so numerous that it is impossible to please them all. Some want you to be just like their grandparents, while others wish you were more cool, down with the times and crazy. Still others don't care about you and worse, some seem to hate you and you wonder how that happens when all you do is try to help their growth.

To keep yourself from going nuts in this family, you rely heavily on your spouses. There is this moral support that at least you are trying your best to please everybody and that maybe with enough consultation, you'll finally figure out what everybody really wants and needs.

There are few people I know who can be so content with putting the happiness of people who don't care about them in front of their own, who never expect a thanks for a job well done, but will take full blame for anything that goes wrong and feel the full extent of guilt.

This may not include everybody who is involved I guess as I'm sure many are more practical and balanced, which is good. This level of personal commitment certainly isn't required from people who are elected as some may just want to have a friendly relationship with the other executive, not get married to the whole lot ;). That being said, it is crazy to see how many do truly care though and it really does make me so very happy. I love you all.

Happy E-Week 2009.

3. Wanting to be Happy

2009-01-19T15:06:00.000-08:00

Some people call this unhealthy suppression of natural emotions. I, on the other hand, don't see what is wrong with willing yourself to be happy. Nobody wants to be sad right?

The reason for this post is the same old of my old posts back on my old blog. The blog that was primarily ranting on focus, stress and overwork and as you can see, I masochistically have not changed my habits of signing up for one too many things.

I refuse for it to keep on getting to me though. Being sad is so insanely unproductive! You become a black hole of negativity and nothingness to the happy people around you, as their happiness osmosis over just to dissolve into a million little useless pieces... This doesn't mean I have a problem with any of those around me being upset, infact I'd be happy to help anybody cheer up. I just don't tolerate these nasty emotions from myself...

Case and point, I feel rather content and happy now and was rather frustrated in the beginning of this blog (partially because my TA wouldn't let me in my lab due to my hazardous pants...).

I guess I can say, I don't really like to speak highly of myself in any manner, but I'd have to say I am very satisfied with my emotion bending abilities.

...

I'm totally not going to snap one day and kill all of you :D!

2. Christmas

2008-12-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

The most beautiful silence all year is heard when you're the only one up at an ungodly hour on Christmas morning to sit all snuggled up on a couch to stare at the twinkling tree and the winter wonderland outside.

...

That being said, I'm off to make breakfast for everyone now...and potentially try to figure out why the fireplace is making a frightening high pitched noise...

...

I love you all...

Merry Christmas

1. Grass

2008-12-17T11:04:00.001-08:00

I have quite the selection of things that make me happy and are fun to write about. Quite a few times I found myself wanting to blog in the middle of the day about things that were around me that just made me smile. I was however, not near a computer at those times. By the time I finally got around to a computer I really needed both the feeling of happiness due to that certain topic and the craving to write to a faceless (and possibly non existant) audience to both be there. Needless to say, these feelings didn't simultaneously occur...ever.

I thus have succumbed to just the need to write without a particular topic in mind.

A few people who know me well may have seen this one coming, but one of my first thoughts that comes to mind when I think of happiness, is grass.

The people who know would remember me perhaps blissfully describing a large grass field under a warm sunny sky with a cool breeze and a giant tree perhaps. Hobbes is my hero.
(A few others may know due to an unfortunate incidence involving an unseemly level of intoxication and me rolling around on a lawn proclaiming my love for grass...heh)

When I was young, I would always want to go frolic in such fields, and even today it is a fantasy of mine. I think of the meadows where Belle from Beauty and the Beast or Maria from the Sound of Music sang on. I imagine lying in one under a starlit sky on awarm summer's night. I can almost feel the grass...but it would be soft and lucious like a field of silk covered plush blades.

Unfortunatley for me, these day dreams didn't play out so well in real life. I was told to stay out of the long grass when I was young as tall grass is full of mites and deer ticks. I have layed out on the grass in the summer, but the cold vancouver weather does not allow for a comfortable temperature past dark. I have rolled around in grass but it really is not plush or silky.

Somewhere though, I really believe there is that silky, tick free meadow with a perfect temperature range. Can someone please take me there :)?

*bliss*

Focus :D

2008-12-10T17:10:00.000-08:00

Well... not focus on my life... that is still pretty randomly trying to overachieve in unspecified directions.

I think I've figured out some sort of cohesive topic to have this blog on though.

Things that make me happy.

I was contemplating about just blogging about happy things in general or good things in life, but I really just want a fun writing topic...and what is more fun than things I find fun, eh?

I'll start numbering tomorrow...

<3

So I was going to post on being unfocused...

2008-10-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

But wait! That's what my last post was on. Dammit.

I wish I had a topic to blog about, because my life just ain't cutting it and I really need to write more often. You have as much fun writing in engineering as you have fun math in arts (minus the arts math major...).

hmmmmmmmmm...I'll get back to myself on that...

I am so Unfocused

2008-07-04T15:28:00.000-07:00

It scares me.

I am in a highschool summer mode that is no longer allowed. As a result, I am behind in EVERYTHING.

ARGH.

Need to spend more time on:
Family
EUS
Robocup
E-Team
Friends
Co-op (report? what report? o_o'')

To Do's that are Long Overdue:
Sort Finances
Sort Phone (I hate bell)
Unpack...

I remember a similar post like this on my xanga...

I don't learn do I?

On the bright side, I give a self accredited A+ to my love life ^^.

This is not Handy enough

2008-06-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

When I want to blog, it's in the middle of a bus ride or while walking down the sidewalk. It seems that then and only then something inspiring or witty comes up (at least in my mind).

Thus, I fail at this.

:(

Sound Bites of My Life

2008-05-11T17:07:00.000-07:00

Too busy!!

I have like a one week lag on emails...SIGH

Naoki is awesome

I need exercise desperately

The weatherman lied today

DS's are evil

lalalala

KUMHO Tires

2008-04-20T09:10:00.000-07:00

"The aggressive design technology of ECSTA series combines the high speed performance of a racing tire with maximum traction and handling."

Roar.

This ad keeps on playing on the radio. Reminds me of powerthirst. Only, I think they're taking it seriously.

I totally want MY technology to be aggressive!! And by that, I mean I want it to be so awesome, it blows up...

wait...

wait...

No I don't.

(This was my 223 project...BEFORE the competition)

My Relationship with Sleep

2008-04-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

I've had a variety of relationships in the past, but none that was so love-hate as my relationship with Sleep.

The relationship is not a short one by any means, spanning over 19 years. At first, I was utterly dependent of him, needing over twelve hours a day of his company, but gradually toned that down to a health eight or so.

Then in middle of high school, I gained quite a few more hobbies, more commitments and a heavier school load. Thus, it was only natural that I could not spend as much time with Sleep. I tried to explain this to him and at first, he seemed fine with four to six hours of my company a day. I spent a good twelve plus hours per weekend day to make up for it often.

Then as university hit, I tried to continue this pattern. Unfortunately, he seemed more and more reluctant to let me. He was so very needy and often showed up unexpected when I was in the middle of doing schoolwork or hanging out with my other friends.

The low points hit when we tried keeping it an open relationship, and I started seeing Energy Drink on the side. Energy Drink is much more accepting of my workload and supports me in everything, but I've been told that he's no good for me and will hurt me in the long run.

At the same time, I'm still seeing sleep, as I cannot ever really let go. My dependence to him is very frustrating at times, but in the end, he always makes me feel better when I've been with him for awhile. Just yesterday I spent a good 14 hours with him in bed and the day seemed so much less hazy afterwards.

I guess I'm just venting. I'm never going to end it with sleep. I think I would die if I did so. I am not happy with how much I'm seeing sleep right now though and how much I want to see him.

I think I'm going to visit Energy Drink tonight again...

Happy

2008-04-07T23:24:00.000-07:00

I never truly have a good excuse not to be.

I hope that those around me will never let me forget that and that I can keep my optimism throughout the years and share it...

...or is that like having your cake and eating it too?

Sometimes I can see my future in the lives of those in the present...and I question whether I'm strong enough.

We'll have to see. I'll bet on myself to stay happy. It's too depressing not to be!

Writing to Myself

2008-04-07T22:45:00.000-07:00

And those who stalk me. (for I have yet to tell anybody about this blog)

There was a certain nostalgia to my Xanga that kept me from deleting it. Yet at the same time, I refrained from writing in it. I love going over my old posts, through old troubles, old love, old loss and old thought processes. I love the colors of the xanga, the comic I live by pasted at the top and the beautiful song playing in the background in which I can sing but know not what the words mean. I love how I used to write so much.

But.

But I want change? No.

But I feel I have out grown it? Maybe.

But it has an advertisement saying 'poo-mail is the new mail' on the side and wants me to go to premium xanga in order to rid of it?

Yeah.

Goodbye Xanga!

I hope I write more. Engineering has dreadful writing courses. They teach writing like they teach math, and where both are beautiful on their own accord, math should be mostly analytical and writing should be mostly creative.